Kelli and Trina - Fostering and the Next Generation

I've always liked the story of the child who, on seeing millions of starfish beached on the sand as the tide was going out, started throwing them back into the water. When a parent suggested that the child could not save them all and asked what difference it would make, the child tossed another one in and  replied "Made a difference to THAT one!"

I recently met a couple (young Gen-Xs) who have certainly made a difference to some starfish, and whose story might encourage others.

First thing to note is that Kelli and Trina clearly have a loving and stable relationship, and both have strong family foundations.

After ten years together, and some fun-filled years, this couple started thinking of ways that they could add more substance to their life together and thoughts of children came into focus.

During the ensuing discovery journey, they both recognised the huge need for foster carers, and that it was something they could do something about.

After conversations with close friends and family, they made some enquiries at an agency that handles some of the most challenging cases, and now, about five years later, they have opened their hearts and home to three children. Currently, Kelli and Trina are full time foster carers for a nearly 14-year-old girl, something that they actually love to do!

Kelli works in the emergency services area and has been exposed in her work to children who require protection, and Trina has a background in early childhood education. They don't see their fostering as an alternative to having their own children. "We just love that we are helping a girl to develop into a young woman who will be able to make empowered and positive decisions as an adult," Kelli told me.

Trina asserts that you don’t have to be super to be a foster carer, even if that is the perception. “The children don’t judge you and don’t care, just that their needs are being met.”

And both these remarkable women acknowledge that their fostering experience so far has added a new dimension to their relationship and that they see each other through a different and exciting prism.

More information about fostering in NSW:  Fostering NSW or ACWA

or check out Fostering NSW on facebook

My AFM for Tony

This month, I'm doing Dry July. It's a fund-raising initiative in support of adults living with cancer.

The idea is that you pledge to abstain from alcohol for a month - this month - and ask people to sponsor you. Their donations go towards providing or improving facilities at hospitals that treat cancer patients.

My nominated beneficiary is the Chris O'Brien Lifehouse at Royal Prince Alfred Hospital, in Sydney.

So have an alcohol free month (AFM), give your liver a rest, raise some money and feel really good, right?

Not so quickly. Why has Dr July caught on with so many people (more than 17,000 registered this year so far)? Why am I doing it for a second time? Why have so many media outlets supported it? Read on, and it might resonate.

Well it turns out that everyone has been touched by cancer. It's generationally agnostic. Often, people indicate that there is someone in particular for whom they are doing an AFM, someone who has cancer, has recovered from cancer or who has died from cancer.

In my case, I am doing DJ 2013 in memory of my very good friend, Tony Prince. After being diagnosed with GI cancer just after Christmas 2012, Tony died in May, surrounded by his family and having received very good support and management, and eventually palliative care at home and finally in hospital.

The facilities and support for people with cancer make a huge difference, and Tony acknowledged the incredible kindness and dedication of those with whom he came into contact over the last few months of his life.

Tony and his whole family are very special to me and my family. That's all I need to say. So while I grieve with the Prince family, I give thanks to God for the 25 years or so years that we have been friends. He and the whole family are part of my life story, have shared many of my highs and some of my lows.

This is not intended to be a eulogy to Tony, but he is definitely a very good illustration of why so many people have decided to make July an AFM. In a small way, and in a way that might make things a bit better for the patients, their families and friends and the dedicated people who work in hospital cancer clinics, it makes a big difference. So for a month I give up the evening wine or three, and the occasional beer or two. It feels pretty good, and in honour of Tony, my mum and all the people in our lives who we have lost to cancer, it makes a positive difference to thousands of cancer patients.

If you reckon you would like to do it yourself - for your own personal reasons - then go to Dry July and  check it out. While there, you can sponsor someone, or a team. Donations are tax deductible. Be surprised by the responses.

If you want to sponsor me, and send a message or even buy me a "golden ticket" then thanks. For me, with a painfully clear head and a range of alternative non alcohol beverages  I will celebrate the life of my friend Tony. I reckon he'd have had a good laugh about me having an AFM! Then again he'd probably have sponsored me, too.

Cheers Tony!

Young Sheps in Sydney

This week, I was re-united with relatives, late Gen X / early Gen Y (thirty somethings) couple and their three children, who stopped in to Sydney for a week as part of a three year mission to travel Australia.

Packed in plenty during a quick Sydney visit, but
back on the bus tomorrow

"It's been my dream since before we were married," Ted told me.

This remarkable couple are about seven months in to their adventure, and stop where work opportunities arise, while soaking up so much of what Australia offers.

Ted has a farming background and a trade (fitter and turner), and as such, offers unbelievable value to anyone who happens gain his services. He's currently working with a farmer somewhere between Young and Cootamundra.

What a joy to spend some time with these guys, as they pursue their great adventure, lovingly lead and teach their children (6, 8 and 9) through life lessons - as well as the online school - and create lifelong memories.

Not Bali, Europe or South America for these Gen Ys, but a journey of a lifetime and discovery around the most desirable travel destination in the world. For this young family though, they've decided to take  the time to smell the grass, dirt, sand, cities and anything else that takes their fancy.

And it's all getting captured and shared via blog by Kylie. It turns out that you can get anywhere from Cummins.


If you see a big red bus, custom fitted out by Ted, and towing a troopy called Hector, it might be the Sheps, so take a moment and say G'day.


Thanks so much for stopping by. Safe travels, great jobs and many happy days to the young Sheps.

USA - Larger than Life

In my younger days, I often heard the expression "Larger than Life," which typically referred to a celebrity or movie. It was used to describe something special, and while it is mostly a positive term, it also has a dark side. Being LTL can also mean being dishonest, or in Aussie parlance, "up yourself."

During our recent family excursion to the USA, I found myself contemplating the term, and how well it seems to fit America and Americans.

I took the tour of Fenway Park (home of the larger-than-life Boston Red Sox baseball team). It includes the "Green Monster," a higher than normal boundary wall to account for the shorter than normal third base boundary.

Fenway also has a special red seat, marking the spot where on June 9 1946, hit a home run hit by Ted Williams landed 502 ft (153m) from home plate.

It was the longest ever Major League Baseball home run hit, at least at Fenway.

Ted Williams is LTL.

And it was the world famous Boston Red Sox who "sold" the best baseball player ever to their arch-rival New York Yankees. Babe (aka "the bambino") Ruth's transfer to New York is said to have led to "the curse of the bambino."

Baseball provides us with the analogy for almost anything American. It is certainly LTL.

We also visited a water slide park: "the largest water park in the world…"

The second biggest shopping mall in the world. Large is good:

• The cars are large.
• The roads are large.
• The toilet bowls are large.
• The shopping malls are large.
• The flags are large.
• The range of breakfast cereals and ice-cream flavours at the super-market is large.
• The meal sizes are generally large.
• The people are, well, large.

But being LTL is also about behaviour. It has been said that in the entertainment business, there are no small parts, only small actors. In the USA, the actors are mostly large. They have posture, even a swagger about them, no matter the role.

In restaurants and many retail stores, the service staff are generally performing a role: "hi, my name is Amber and I will be your server tonight;" or "Hi there, is there something I can show you?" And, one of my personal favourites, "You're all set now!"

At the local supermarket, you are likely to find grocery packers - "paper or plastic?" - and often a person who will take your groceries to the car. Each role is performed by an actor.

In the corporate world, everyone is a specialist. Public servants, maintain an air of self-importance. They often seem to perform their roles, no more no less.

And all of it seems LTL.

And the dark side I mentioned? I sometimes wonder if being LTL is sustainable.

Can we afford all those bit parts? Do the grocery packers get paid fairly? Does being larger than life equate to value creation? It does if you are in the larger-than-life business.

But being larger than life for some Americans also means being larger than accepting - or providing - government assistance. Take, for instance, universal health care. How is it that such a larger than life nation does not see fit to provide adequate health care for those who may not be quite large enough?

Generally, I like the concept of a larger than life USA, but somehow, this trip, it seems to have lost its swagger. A GFC and economic down-turn will do that to you. I look forward to a time when that larger than life America is back, but perhaps with just a touch of humility and compassion. 

I'll call it LTL 2.0. Perhaps it can happen in time for the football season.